A Fulfilled Hope
“Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.”
— Proverbs 13:12
For nearly four years, the first part of that verse has rung true in my life. My heart has been sick. Wales consumed my thoughts, and I wanted nothing more than to be in that country and with those people. But there was a process that had to be followed, so for over three years, we traveled the United States, going to church after church to present our burden. And while the traveling was—well, shall we say exciting?—my heart ached. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to meet other people. It wasn’t that I was longing to leave my family. It’s just that the Lord had planted in my heart a love for the people of Wales, and as long as I was away from that country, I felt out of sorts.
Now, after a long and tiring journey, I’m getting to live out the truth of the latter part of the verse. Yes, I am writing this devotion from Wales. An elderly couple was kind enough to allow us to use their farmhouse—rent-free—while they were away in Australia for the winter until we find permanent accommodations. We’re living on a sheep farm, surrounded by rolling hills. It’s quiet and peaceful, and I love it.
To be honest, we haven’t gone out and done much yet, but that’s part of the beauty of it for me. I’m enjoying quiet days working on the computer, reading a book, and spending time with Jason. We have been grocery shopping, and we bought a “new” used car. We also attended two church services on Sunday and a Bible study on Wednesday. Tonight, I’m getting together with another missionary wife and a dear friend of hers, and we’re going to dinner for a “girls night out” while the men meet up at “our house” and grill steaks. Tomorrow, we’re scheduled to go into one of the seaside towns to pick up our final visa paperwork. All in all, we’re settling in nicely.
I have to admit that I cried myself to sleep the first night here. I don’t know if it was all the pent-up emotions from the last few months, the complete exhaustion, or the sense of overwhelm I felt at seeing how different everything was. All I know is that the tears began to flow as soon as my head hit the pillow. I didn’t cry hard or long, but I did cry myself to sleep.
Since that night, however, I’ve felt a peace and joy like I haven’t felt in a long, long time. I feel like I’m where I belong. The opportunities excite me. My surroundings calm me. For the first time I can remember, my body aches are easing, and my stomach isn’t in knots. I’m still far from feeling energetic. In fact, Jason and I are sleeping nearly 10 hours each night, but I guess that’s our bodies’ way of catching up after the past several years. But, now that we’ve finally reached Wales, I feel like I’ve found a tree of life. Yes, I know there will be difficulties. There will be hardships and heartaches. But for now, life is quiet and sweet, and I’m thankful.
As I contemplate the verse above, I’m reminded of one of the reasons I love the Word of God. It’s brutally honest. I know that sounds strange, but I appreciate that God tells us things like they are. He doesn’t sugarcoat things or give us false hope. He tells us flat out that we’ll have tough times, but He also tells us we’ll have times of joy. He lets us know there will be times our hopes are delayed and times they will be fulfilled. He shows us the good and the bad, and in that, we can rely on His truth.
Without this knowledge, I don’t know if I would have made it through the past four years. After years of living with a deferred hope, the thing that kept me going was the fact that one day that hope would be fulfilled. God’s Word is like that—it gives us a reason to keep going. It inspires us to push forward, try again, and keep the faith.
I don’t know what season you’re in today. You could be like me, living your best life in a fulfilled hope, and if so, I’m thrilled for you. But perhaps, your hope hasn’t come to fruition yet. Maybe you’re still waiting for that tree of life, and in the meantime, your heart is sick and discouraged.
If that’s you, my friend, I urge you to keep pressing on. Your time will come. God has something extraordinary in store for you. You can’t give up! You’ve come too far. You’ve worked too hard. Keep going and cling to the hope that God always keeps His promises. One day, you, too, will experience your fulfilled hope, and I pray it will be everything you’ve dreamed of and more.