If I Knew Then What I Know Now
I admit I am not the world’s best housekeeper. I’ve been known to let dirty dishes stay in the sink overnight and to allow the dust bunnies to populate to an unholy number. No, housekeeping has never been my thing. But organizing? Oh, yeah!!! I love to organize in color-coded folders or labeled boxes. I have file folders for all valuable papers, lists for the needful tasks, and tidy little containers for odds and ends.
This particular skill usually drives my poor husband crazy until he needs something, and I can tell him exactly where to find it. Such was the case when we started our move into the motorhome. As we worked our way through the motorhome, determining what would go where, it was a process for both of us. At one point, Jason came in carrying a box and said, “Have I ever told you how much I love your organizational skills and attention to detail?” Shocked by his question, I answered honestly. “No.” He continued, “Well, I do. I was looking for some of the stuff to go with my bass guitar, and I found this box. It’s labeled ‘Bass stuff,’ and has everything I need in it.”
He was excited to have found his box, and I was elated to be appreciated for my slow, methodical processing. Back in July, when we started working on the house, my job was to pack everything up while Jason began the demo work. At that time, my skill got on his nerves because it took me forever to get everything packed up, but now, all these months later, he understands why the process took as long as it did, and he has learned to appreciate my ways.
Funny, I feel the same way about the selling of the house. As I’m sure you recall, when the first sale of the house fell through in December, I was more than frustrated. I was angry. I was confused. I was in despair. I didn’t understand why God was being so cruel in allowing such a delay.
But now, I’m so thankful for the way things worked out. Sure, there were extra expenses and more work along the way, but there have also been many blessings that wouldn’t have taken place had things worked out the way I wanted them too initially. Because of the timing of our house closing and this crazy pandemic, we’ve had plenty of time to get settled in and make our new home special. We haven’t had to rush. We’ve been able to sleep in and refresh our bodies after months of running around like crazy. We’ve had the time to make some needful repairs and genuinely have some fun in the process.
Had we closed on the house in December, it would have been a mad rush to get everything done before driving off to our next meeting or conference and then picking away at little things here and there until we could finally finish the project. We would have been tired beyond belief (which we already were), and working together in a tight space when we’re both exhausted is a recipe for disaster.
They say, “Hindsight is 20/20,” and I guess they’re right. It’s all so clear now. I see God’s grace now, where before I saw only cruelty. I see His perfect timing, where before I saw a delay. Yes, if I knew then what I know now, I would have behaved much more like a Christian instead of a spoiled brat who didn’t get her way and was afraid to trust God with anything ever again.
I guess that’s kind of how the disciples felt after Easter Sunday. When Jesus died on the cross, their world was turned upside down. They thought Jesus was going to set up an earthly kingdom. They were prepared to rule and reign with Him. After three years of walking with Him and being personally mentored by Him, the crucifixion left them shaken and afraid. Afraid to hope. Afraid to dream. Afraid to think back on the times they had shared with Him. They were disappointed and confused, so they did the only thing they could think to do—they went back to their old lives. Back to fishing. Back to the daily grind. Back to life without Jesus.
But then, they saw Him, talked with Him, and ate with Him, and everything changed. Suddenly, they understood what Jesus had been trying to tell them for three years. Finally, they got it! Their eyes were opened to God’s grace and perfect plan, and they spent the rest of their lives proclaiming that message to everyone who would listen (and some who wouldn’t).
We’re not able to predict the future, and that often leaves us in a place of fear and hopelessness. But, my friends, even though we don’t know what tomorrow holds, we do know Who holds tomorrow. We can trust His ways are higher than our ways, and yes, that means they’re better too. We may not understand His process or timing, but we can trust His heart. He loves us and wants only what is best for us. He isn’t unkind, neither does He play games with us. Instead, He guides us to the path that is perfect for us. We may not see it now, but one day, we’ll look back and say, “If I knew then what I know now, I would have understood and wouldn’t have fretted so much.”
It’s easy to trust when we know the outcome, but not so much when things are so uncertain. So, instead of trying to believe what we cannot see, let’s trust what we can. Let’s put our faith in the One who controls the outcome—the One who controls all things. Unlike our circumstances, He never changes. We can trust He will do what’s best.
“As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.”
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