Yes or No?

My last blog post had quite an impact, it seems. I received several positive comments. As I suspected, I'm not the only one who suffers from "people-pleasing syndrome," nor am I the only one who's tired of trying to be someone she's not.

Today, I'd like to share a portion of one of the emails I received and address the issue head-on. For the sake of this person's privacy, I will not divulge any personal information, for that is not mine to share. But the issue she brought up is one I'm sure many of us have faced. I know I have.

This dear lady was told she should never pass up an opportunity to serve and should always say "yes" to anything asked of her because if she didn't, she would miss out on a blessing. While this sounds spiritual on the surface, I don't believe it's true, and I have Bible to prove it. The truth is, sometimes we have to say "no" to certain things, so we're available to say "yes" to other things. We often must say "no" to a good thing to say "yes" to the best thing.

Let's start with Moses. Great man, right? I mean, this guy was known as the friend of God. What a compliment! So, if anyone could teach us when to say yes or no, it's Moses, right? Well, yes and no. (See what I did there? Sorry, I couldn't resist!)

And it came to pass on the morrow, that Moses sat to judge the people: and the people stood by Moses from the morning unto the evening. And when Moses' father in law saw all that he did to the people, he said, What is this thing that thou doest to the people? why sittest thou thyself alone, and all the people stand by thee from morning unto even? And Moses said unto his father in law, Because the people come unto me to enquire of God: When they have a matter, they come unto me; and I judge between one and another, and I do make them know the statutes of God, and his laws. And Moses' father in law said unto him, The thing that thou doest is not good. Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee: for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone. - Exodus 18:13-18

God called Moses to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt and into Canaan, and Moses was doing just that. But, when Moses saw the many tasks that needed to be done, he took it upon himself to do them all. After all, that's part of leading the people, isn't it? So, day after day, he would sit in judgment and listen to the people's disputes about everything little thing under the sun.  (Boy, am I glad that’s not my job!!!)

But here's the thing. Moses wasn't just supposed to lead Israel on a physical journey; he was also supposed to lead them on a spiritual one. He was supposed to be teaching them the ways of God. But how could he when all of his time was spent on other things—things God never intended for him to do?

So, when his father-in-law (a non-believer from what I can see) visits him and sees what Moses is doing, he tells him plainly, "This is not good." Jethro could see Moses was spreading himself too thin, and it wouldn't be long before he completely burned out. Then what would he accomplish?

Jethro's solution was simple: assign specific tasks to other trustworthy individuals. Give them a chance to serve, and free up yourself for the things God has called you to. And it worked! Moses had the opportunity to serve in the best areas instead of spending all his time doing the good things.  Plus, other individuals were given a chance to be a blessing and use their talents for God.

Some might argue, "But if God opens a door, shouldn't we go through it?" Maybe, but only if He tells you to. Take, for example, Paul and Silas and their jailhouse experience.

And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them. And suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken: and immediately all the doors were opened, and every one's bands were loosed. And the keeper of the prison awaking out of his sleep, and seeing the prison doors open, he drew out his sword, and would have killed himself, supposing that the prisoners had been fled. But Paul cried with a loud voice, saying, Do thyself no harm: for we are all here. Then he called for a light, and sprang in, and came trembling, and fell down before Paul and Silas, And brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved? And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house. - Acts 16:25-31

Paul and Silas were soundly locked up in prison. Then, God sent a great earthquake—so great that all the cell doors swung open, and all the chains rattled to the floor. Sounds like an open door to me. But did Paul and Silas go through it? Not at first. They stayed right where they were because God had a bigger calling for them that night. They said "no" to a good thing (escape) to say "yes" to the best thing (salvation of an entire household).

I could go on. If we're supposed to say "yes" to every type of service, why didn't Jesus pass out the fish and bread at the feeding of the 5,000 instead of instructing the disciples to do it? Why didn't Philip say "yes" to continuing to minister to the crowds during a time of great revival instead of leaving it all to minister to a single eunuch? Why did the Spirit close the doors to Paul and his followers when pursuing mission work to certain places? There was a need. There were invitations. But, the Spirit himself said, "No. I have other plans for you."

Friends, I am becoming more passionate about this topic all the time. Looking back, I realize my theme for this year has been: "You Be You." It was the basis of my lesson for the mother/daughter tea I spoke at in March. It was the theme of the meetings I taught during our ladies' retreat in May. And it's been scattered through my writings a lot of late.

Part of the reason, I believe, is because it's an inner battle I've been fighting for some time. But, I also think the Lord has taught me much through the struggle. In that, I'm finding freedom. Freedom to be who God made me to be. Freedom to serve in the way He's equipped me to serve. And I want to share that freedom with you. I want you to embrace the you that is rather than the you everyone else wants you to be. Part of that means knowing when to say "yes" or "no."