God Knows What We Need

Typically, when facing some form of difficulty in life, my default setting is to escape.  If I don’t keep my mind occupied with something positive and light, I spiral into the dark abyss of negativity, anxiety, and depression.  My preferred method of escape is reading.  Not only can I learn new things and uncover valuable truths, but I can also journey into mysterious lands and lose myself in someone else’s story for a while.

Usually, this is the perfect thing to keep my mind still while allowing it to be entertained.  However, my reading material over the past few weeks has brought me face-to-face with my inner struggle.  I’ve been reading through The Wingfeather Saga, and if you’ve never read it, I highly recommend it.  The series is written as an allegory, much like The Chronicles of Narnia, and the spiritual insights are phenomenal.

It didn’t take many pages for me to know I would enjoy the series, but I never expected to meet a kindred spirit within the adventurous tale of three young siblings.  Reading about the inward struggles of the oldest boy, Janner, I was moved to tears on many occasions because I understood all too well how he felt.

Janner was a good boy, but he struggled with keeping a good attitude.  He knew how he was supposed to feel and think, but try as he might, he couldn’t get his words and attitudes to align with what he knew to be right.  He didn’t want to be jealous of his brother, but he was.  He didn’t want to be angry at the Maker for his difficult life, but he was.  He didn’t want to complain, but he couldn’t stop himself.  Yes, of all the enemies in the book, the one Janner battled the most was himself.

At first, I was a little frustrated that my light reading was causing me to cry.  Where’s the fun in that?  Where’s the escape?  But after a while, Janner became more than a character in a book.  He became a friend, someone I could relate to and who knew how tiring it was to fight the same battles day in and day out.  Like David, Janner had spells where he would encourage himself in the Maker, reminding himself that while things looked terrible, the Maker had always cared for and provided for him.  His gratitude reminded me of how blessed I am, even during our current trial.

I often read books for spiritual encouragement or enlightenment, but on this occasion, I read this series just for the joy and pleasure of a good story.  But as always, God knew what I needed and used those four books to speak peace to my heart and comfort to my soul.  That’s the God I serve, and I’m so grateful He loves me!