Aren't You Going To Do Something?

“And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her. But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil man. And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king’s son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister. And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand. So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand. Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon’s house, and dress him meat. So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes. And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him. And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother. And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister. And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly. And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee. Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her. Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone. And she said unto him, There is no cause: this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. But he would not hearken unto her. Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her. And she had a garment of divers colours upon her: for with such robes were the king’s daughters that were virgins apparelled. Then his servant brought her out, and bolted the door after her. And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying. And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but hold now thy peace, my sister: he is thy brother; regard not this thing. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house. But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth. And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.”

— II Samuel 13:1-22

This is such a tragic story and the beginning of the end for Absalom. Of course, he had every right to be angry with Amnon for his selfish and indecent actions. But the way he handled that anger (which we discover later in this same chapter) was just as wrong. And his poor decisions didn’t end there because though Amnon was dead, Absalom was still angry and bitter at someone—David, his father. Though this bitterness isn’t described in this chapter, we see it unfold in the next few years of Absalom’s life when he rebels and tries to take over the kingdom.

So, why was he so irritated with David? It’s not like his father had anything to do with the incident with Amnon, but that’s precisely the issue. Though Amnon’s actions angered David, there is no record that he did anything about it. No punishment. No “dad talk.” No reprimand. Nothing! It was like he ignored the entire thing.

I can’t begin to explain why David reacted this way. As a parent, David should have at least had harsh words for Amnon. And as a king, he should have issued some sort of justice for this poor girl who was wronged and scarred for life. Her life was completely ruined. She deserved some form of restitution. But, nope. David only responded with anger.

So, Absalom took matters into his own hands. First, he punished Amnon by killing him. Then, he punished David by turning the people against him and stealing the throne. In the end, he died in a war against his father and his people. And it all stemmed from bitterness. How very sad!

If we’re not careful, we could do the same. We, too, have a Father and King who doesn’t always do things the way we think He should. He allows evil to seemingly go unpunished. He allows the wicked to have money and fame while His children struggle to make ends meet. We ask for healing, but He chooses another illness. We seek peace and run headlong into an endless stream of troubles. We demand justice toward those who have wronged us, but they continue in their beautiful lives without caring for those they have hurt.  

It doesn’t seem fair. It doesn’t seem right. In our confusion and frustration, we raise our faces toward Heaven and ask, “Are you going to do something?” And if we’re not careful, we’ll find ourselves—like Absalom—taking matters into our own hands.  

To avoid getting caught in this deadly trap of bitterness, we must remember these truths:

• God is righteous and just. Though it may seem like He’s letting people get away with things, He’s not. He’s keeping track, and judgment is coming.

• God is not cruel. Though it may seem He’s playing some cosmic joke on us, He’s not. He is kind and loving and only wants what is best for us.

• God is always working. Though we may not see or understand what He is doing, He is always working for our good and His glory.

• God is God, and we are not. We can’t see the whole picture, but He can.

Oh, friend, I know how easily bitterness can slip in when God isn’t living up to the plans we laid out for Him. But we must remember we’re not the ones in charge. He is. And despite how things may seem in the moment, He knows what He’s doing. It may not be what we would choose or the timing we want, but He knows best. So we must trust in that and never allow bitterness to determine our actions or attitudes, for offense only leads to destruction and misery.  And nobody wants that!