Out of My Darkness
I love it when God gives me the message I need when I need it. Yes, He’s the God that’s right on time with the perfect combination of conviction and encouragement, which is precisely what I received this weekend.
I’ll be honest with you. I’ve been feeling down and defeated. The process of juggling demands and schedules was growing old and overwhelming, leaving me feeling like David in the cave of Adullam.
“I cried unto the Lord with my voice; with my voice unto the Lord did I make my supplication. I poured out my complaint before him; I shewed before him my trouble. When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path. In the way wherein I walked have they privily laid a snare for me. I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul. ”
Yup, a royal pity party, to be sure. But it’s where I was, and God met me there and gave me the strength I needed to climb out of that horrible pit. It began with a long, heartfelt talk with Jason and some much-needed (though not gracefully received) spiritual guidance. Then, as if to drive home the point, God led us to a church in Shelby for the Sunday morning service, and I got an earful.
In the Sunday School hour, the teacher taught on Jonah. As my mind condemned Jonah for his selfish choices, direct disobedience, and bitter attitude, I heard the still, small voice of the Lord whisper, “Sound like anyone you know?” Ouch, that stung, but I knew it was the truth. I had been acting just like Jonah—wanting to have my way and pitching a fit when things didn’t go according to my plans. Yikes! Talk about a wake-up call!
The morning service involved some of the best singing I’ve heard in a long time. The choir was fantastic as they lifted their voices in jubilant song, one of which was the perfect pairing to my feelings of guilt and shame after the Sunday School lesson—“I’m amazed that you love me!” The tears were flowing and continued to flow when a family group made their way to the platform and sang “Casting All Your Care Upon Him.” Now, I was bawling like a baby amid all these people who were probably thinking I was some kind of lunatic. Bless their hearts!
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any better, the pastor (a firecracker of a man) got up and announced his morning message—“Not today, Satan.” Oh my goodness! I leaned over to Jason and whispered through my tears, “It’s like they knew I was coming.” Immediately, I realized they (the church and pastor) didn’t know I would be attending that day or that I was in need of such encouragement, but God did. And once again, I was overwhelmed by God’s goodness to meet me in the low places and give me the strength to climb up out of my pit of despair and discouragement.
When I began writing this devotion, I planned to talk about the topic of “Not today, Satan,” but I think the Lord might want me to leave off until tomorrow for that. Today, I think I need to park it right here for a few minutes. Friend, God knows where you are. He knows what you’re facing. He understands the heartache and disappointment you feel. He sees your tears and hears your heartfelt cries. That’s where the latter part of David’s prayer comes into play.
“ I cried unto thee, O Lord: I said, Thou art my refuge and my portion in the land of the living. Attend unto my cry; for I am brought very low: deliver me from my persecutors; for they are stronger than I. Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise thy name: the righteous shall compass me about; for thou shalt deal bountifully with me.”
David was overwhelmed and feeling alone even though he was surrounded by 400 men. He felt no one cared for him and even implied that God had failed him. But somewhere along the way—during his darkest moments—God met with David and encouraged his heart. He reminded him of the truth and whispered comfort in the psalmist's ear, leading to David’s change of heart in the final verse: “thou shalt deal bountifully with me.”
God met Jonah in the whale's belly. He met David in the cave. He met me in my valley. God can meet you wherever you are. You are not too far gone. There is nowhere He cannot reach, and He longs to bring you up out of your despair. God will meet you where you are, but I guarantee you, He loves you too much to leave you there. I know it may seem dark, but He is the Light. Don’t shut Him out. Listen to His voice. Honestly, I was in such a state I wondered if He was through talking to me, but when I quieted my complaints long enough to listen, God’s voice was there. It started as a faint whisper, but let me tell you, by the end of the day, it was a shout! He can do the same for you. He wants to do just that. Will you let Him?
Maybe you need someone to talk to. Someone outside the box of your circumstances who can direct you according to God’s truth instead of your feelings. If so, I encourage you to seek that help. If you don’t know who to call or email, I am offering to be that listening ear. I may not understand exactly what you’re going through, but I am familiar with the valley, and God has taught me some things through my journey that perhaps I can pass on to you. Whoever you speak with, make sure that person will guide you in the truth of God’s Word not according to man’s opinions or understanding. The blind cannot lead the blind.
Dear one, you are not alone in this battle. Life is hard, but you don’t have to face it in your strength. God is and always will be a refuge for His people. Go to Him. Call on Him. Trust in Him. He’ll bring you out of the darkness and into His marvelous light!
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