Dana Rongione

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Invisible Lines and Impossible Standards

Have you ever felt like you're walking through a maze where the walls keep moving? Or perhaps trying to follow rules written in invisible ink? Welcome to the club! I've spent countless hours trying to decipher the unwritten social contract that seems to govern every interaction, only to find myself stumbling over invisible lines I didn't even know existed.

"Remind me about these things, but don't be a nag."

"Show initiative, but don't overstep."

"Give me all the information, but don't get bogged down in the details."

“Work hard, but don't overdo it."

"Rest, but don't be lazy."

The list of contradictory expectations goes on and on, enough to make anyone's head spin! Even in our spiritual lives, we often find ourselves trapped between seemingly opposing directives.

"Pray with faith, but don't be presumptuous."

"Trust God completely, but plan responsibly."

"Pour out your heart to God, but don't gripe or complain."

Recently, while wrestling with these mental gymnastics, I stumbled upon a fascinating passage in Ecclesiastes 7:16-17 (KJV): "Be not righteous over much; neither make thyself over wise: why shouldest thou destroy thyself? Be not over much wicked, neither be thou foolish: why shouldest thou die before thy time?"

At first glance, this passage might add to our confusion—another set of invisible lines to navigate! But look closer. Solomon, in his God-given wisdom, addresses this human tendency to swing between extremes, trying to find the perfect balance.

The truth is, we weren't created to be perfect tightrope walkers, constantly maintaining a perfect balance between competing expectations. We were created for relationship—first with God, then with others. And here's the liberating truth: God doesn't play mind games with us.

Consider Micah 6:8 (KJV): "He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?" Notice the beautiful simplicity of God's requirements compared to our complex human expectations.

So, how do we break free from this maze of invisible lines? Here's what I've learned:

  • Focus on principles, not perfection. Instead of trying to hit an ever-moving target, concentrate on developing a godly character. When we're guided by love, integrity, and wisdom, the "lines" become less important.

  • Remember that people's expectations are often more about them than you. Their invisible lines might reflect their own insecurities, past hurts, or personal preferences, not universal truths.

  • Embrace the freedom of authenticity. Proverbs 11:3 (KJV) tells us, "The integrity of the upright shall guide them." When we walk with integrity, we can trust our judgment, even if others disagree.

  • Practice open communication. Many "invisible lines" exist simply because we're afraid to ask for clarification. There's wisdom in simply saying, "I want to understand your expectations better."

Remember, dear friend, you're not called to be a mind reader or a perfect performer. You're called to be a child of God, walking in love and truth. Let that truth free you from the exhausting dance of invisible lines and impossible standards.