When I read that statement in my Proverbs 31 devotional this morning, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I was amazed at how aptly a single sentence could sum up my current state in life. Those of you who have followed my writing for a while know me well. I’m a planner. I like order and routine. I crave checklists, organizers, and detailed plans for setting out on any new adventures. Spontaneous and fly-by-the-seat-of-the-pants are not adequate descriptors of my nature.

You know that, right? And God knows that. So, one would imagine God would place me in my comfort zone, that sweet spot where every task in on a list and every event is carefully planned and scheduled. But, no.  

For the past twelve years, I’ve lived in the land of uncertainty. My husband’s job has consisted of an ever-changing schedule, rarely the same from one week to the next. And since he’s paid hourly, the paychecks vary along with the hours. My writing ministry has been full of ups and downs, open and closed doors, opportunities and letdowns. Each day includes some form of writing, but even that varies depending on the book I’m currently writing, Jason’s work schedule, my schedule of “other things” that have to be done, and of course, the Lord’s leading. The days of looking at my calendar and knowing what events the day held are long gone. And it’s only getting worse!

Now that we’ve thrown missions into the mix, there is a whole new world of uncertainties. Which meetings to attend. How long to stay. Knowing what’s expected of us while we’re at a conference (i.e., preaching, presenting the ministry, teaching, singing, etc.). Planning for Barnabas’ care while we’re away. Making sure we keep meticulous records and don’t double-book a service. (This part would be easy except both Jason and I are contacting people, and some details get lost in the shuffle.) There are more questions now than ever, and this routine-loving girl is struggling to make sense of it all.

“God, why would you put me in this position? Surely, there are plenty of spontaneous people out there who would be a much better fit for this lifestyle. It comes naturally to them and causes them no pause or anxiety. I, on the other hand, would prefer to have a simple, set schedule so I can know what to expect from day to day. Is that too much to ask? Why me?”

As I pondered these questions, I recalled a conversation Jason and I had on a recent hike. Staring up at one of the towering trees, I was amazed once again at the height the trees in the woods can achieve. Why? Because they’re reaching for the sun. They need the light to live. So, in a forest full of trees, each one does its best to reach above and beyond, continually stretching toward the light. Because of this, these trees are coveted by lumber yards, builders, furniture makers, and even those seeking firewood for the cold winter months because the trees provide long, straight lengths of healthy wood.

Contrast those trees with a typical oak found in someone’s yard. Placed in an ideal environment (a comfort zone), the tree spreads forth its branches and becomes an ornament of beauty. Its lush branches twist and turn in an outward direction, causing the tree to grow out rather than up. While beautiful to look at and ideal for shade, the tree serves no other purpose. The wood itself has little value because it is warped, twisted, and knotted, and unlike the majority of the trees in the forest, yard trees are susceptible to disease and breakage. They also typically have to be maintained by someone.

From a tree’s point of view, the yard would be a better placement. There, it wouldn’t have to compete with other trees. It could branch out and flourish as it saw fit. No striving for survival. Growth would come naturally with little to no effort on its part. And it could still serve a purpose. It could be lovely and provide shade. A worthy existence, for sure.

But from God’s point of view, the tree would be of much more use in the forest. Yes, it would have to strive to survive. Yes, it would always need to reach for the light. But in doing so, it could grow tall and strong, strengthened by the power of the sun for which it’s ever reaching. And what it contained within would be worth so much more because it grew straight and true. Where the yard tree provides external value, the forest tree has so much more to offer. The environment and circumstances—though not ideal from the tree’s vantage point—were exactly what it needed to become everything God intended for it to be.

Sure, God could place me in my happy little world where everything is planned out, and all things go according to those plans, but how would that affect my growth? Where would I end up if I never had to lean on Him for strength or pray to Him for guidance? Like the yard tree, I would grow wide and complacent, of little use. By placing me outside of my comfort zone, God has done me a favor. He’s set me in an environment where all I can do is keep reaching for the Light, and as I continue to do so, I will grow straight and true. As I grow, I will become more like what He wants me to be.  

Remember how I said builders covet forest trees? Well, Jesus is the Master Builder. He has built us a home in Heaven and has enlisted us to help build His kingdom. What we often fail to understand is that He wants to use our strengths and our weaknesses. After all, when we are weak, that’s when He shows Himself strong.

Are you in a less than ideal circumstance today? Are you wondering why God has placed you out of your element? Consider, dear friend, that God means for you to be a forest tree rather than a yard ornament. Trust in His plan and reach for the Light. He’ll take care of the rest!