The Long Night of Nothing
After four years of traveling and eating out the majority of the time, we’ve finally settled enough to where I can address my eating habits and exercise routines again. For me, unfortunately, it means using that ugly four-letter word—diet.
Yes, I’m past that lovely age where I could skip one snack and lose three pounds. Way past! Now, I look at food and gain three pounds. And in the past four years, I feel like I’ve put as many pounds on my body as we did miles on our vehicles. Well, maybe that’s a bit extreme, but the truth is, I’m heavier than I’ve ever been in my life, and I don’t like it.
I’ve been getting up every morning and walking 3-5 miles for the past month. Once a week, Jason and I tackle a moderate to strenuous hike over 5 miles. I’ve reduced my portions. I’ve cut way back on sweets and other filler calories. I removed snacks between meals and implemented various routines and supplements to reduce stress. It hasn’t been easy. It hasn’t been fun. But I’ve been determined.
As I step on the scale each Monday morning, however, my heart sinks a little further. After one week of effort, the scale showed about half a pound lighter. Okay, that’s fine. It’s slow progress, but it’s progress nonetheless. After two weeks, the scale showed the same number as before I began making the many changes. Bummer! For the past two weeks, the scale has revealed a number half a pound heavier than my original weight. What? How is that possible? All this walking. All these cut calories. What’s the point if my weight goes up instead of down?
It’s not just the weight, either. I felt tired during the first week of changes, which was only natural. However, on week two and the start of week three, I began to feel a difference. I was sleeping better. I had more energy during the day. My mind seemed more focused. Despite the scale’s rebellion, I was excited about the positive results in my well-being. But by the end of week three and now into week four, general fatigue and moodiness have settled over me, and it’s a battle to even get out of bed in the morning. Grrr!
If anyone understands how I feel, it’s the seven disciples fishing on the Sea of Galilee during the long night of nothing.
After these things Jesus shewed himself again to the disciples at the sea of Tiberias; and on this wise shewed he himself. There were together Simon Peter, and Thomas called Didymus, and Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, and the sons of Zebedee, and two other of his disciples. Simon Peter saith unto them, I go a fishing. They say unto him, We also go with thee. They went forth, and entered into a ship immediately; and that night they caught nothing. - John 21:1-3
Like me, these men had spent the past few years traveling. Leaving behind their jobs and everyone they knew, they followed Jesus. Where He went, they went. And it was great. . .until it wasn’t. With Jesus gone and their hopes dashed, this ragtag group decided it was time to go back to what they knew best—fishing.
Despite their efforts, things didn’t play out the way they thought. The disciples worked. They rowed. They cast nets and raised nets. Hour after hour, they went through the proper motions the right way and in the right order, yet the nets still came up empty. All that effort and energy were in vain, it seemed. By morning, they had nothing to show for their night of toil. Oh, brothers, I feel your pain!
Unlike the disciples, we know the rest of the story. Jesus showed up. In fact, He’d been waiting on them for quite a while because He already had a fire built, fish on the coals, and bread awaiting the weary fishermen. As if His presence and offerings weren’t enough, He commanded them to cast their net on the right side of the ship (which I’m sure they had probably already tried numerous times in the night), and they ended up with a catch too big to haul in. The long night of nothing turned into a bright morning of blessings.
As I muscled through my morning walk today, I turned on some music for motivation. Heaven knows I needed it! And God did what He does best—He gave a song in the night. Several songs, in fact. Though my playlist was on shuffle, it seemed every melody was a message of hope, urging me to keep going despite the lack of results. One song cheered me on, “Don’t stop this side of a miracle.” Let me tell you, I was pumped. I began my walk with a scowl, but I ended it with a smile. (And some passersby may have gotten quite a show as I raised my hands in praise while strutting down the roadside.)
I may be stuck in the long night of nothing, but I have God’s promise that morning is coming. And I believe it will be a bright morning of blessings just as it was with the disciples. My hard work will pay off, but more than that, my faith in God will bring a reward of its own.
Maybe you, too, are trapped in that long night of nothing, and you’re ready to throw in the towel. Friend, can I encourage you as I was encouraged? Don’t stop this side of a miracle. You’ve worked too hard. You’ve done too much. You’ve come too far. Don’t lose faith now. God will keep His promises. He always does. Keep pressing on. God’s got this, and He’s got you. Trust Him with this, and keep on keeping on.
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. - Psalm 30:5b