Growing Tired of Square One

I've spent the past two weeks recovering from a severe flareup from my back injury and let me tell you, it's been excruciating. Not just the pain, mind you, though that was enough to keep me in bed for over a week. But the frustration of knowing that once I was better, I would have to start back at square one. Boy, am I tired of square one!!!

We finally settled into our new home and new lives as missionaries in Wales. We were finally establishing a routine that allowed us to manage our time wisely and make sure every area of our lives was receiving the needed attention. I was getting back into my writing and rebooting my efforts to craft books and devotionals to help others. I had even boosted my daily exercise, reaching four miles of walking each day, and it was finally starting to pay off.

Then, bam! While putting laundry away, I was assaulted by that paralyzing pain that sent me crawling to my bed in tears. (I knew housework was hazardous to my health. Why didn't I listen to myself?) Unable to stand or even sit, I had little to do but lie in bed and think about all the things I needed and wanted to do but couldn't. And as the pain finally subsided and my strength slowly returned, I found myself in a familiar place—square one. All momentum was gone! All progress had stopped. Hope was waning.

Maybe you can feel my pain. Perhaps it's physical like mine or something else that keeps pushing you back to start over again. Finances. Relationships. The job. Circumstances. Whatever it may be, you understand the frustration of lost momentum and stilted progress. You know the hopelessness of feeling like your previous effort has been in vain. You know what it's like to stand on that starting line once again and realize you've been here so many times before. Square one. What a horrible place. . . or is it?

Let's look back at the children of Israel as they walked around the walls of Jericho, for they certainly knew something about covering the same ground over and over again.

Now Jericho was straitly shut up because of the children of Israel: none went out, and none came in. And the Lord said unto Joshua, See, I have given into thine hand Jericho, and the king thereof, and the mighty men of valour. And ye shall compass the city, all ye men of war, and go round about the city once. Thus shalt thou do six days. And seven priests shall bear before the ark seven trumpets of rams' horns: and the seventh day ye shall compass the city seven times, and the priests shall blow with the trumpets. And it shall come to pass, that when they make a long blast with the ram's horn, and when ye hear the sound of the trumpet, all the people shall shout with a great shout; and the wall of the city shall fall down flat, and the people shall ascend up every man straight before him. - Joshua 6:1-5

Well, the instructions were clear enough, and as far as battle plans go, this seemed like a piece of cake. No weapons were required. No armor was needed. Just walk. Could it be any simpler? That depends on how well you handle feeling stuck in a rut. I've read this story very carefully, and from what I can tell, there was no indication that anything was happening to that wall until that final walk on the seventh day. No cracks. No shaking. No crumbling. Nope, from what I can see, those people walked around and around and around with no indication that their efforts were doing any good. All they had was God's Word. And while that should be enough, it's often difficult to find that faith when you're back at square one.

Think about it. Each morning, the Israelites rose from their beds and thought, Hooray, we get to walk around the city again today. From what scholars have determined, the walk was not long and probably took less than an hour. Some say as little as ten minutes. But the length and time aren't the issues. It's the fact that it was the same path they took the day before and the day before that and the day before that. After about the fourth day, I imagine I'd be wary of returning to that starting line. After all, nothing was happening. What was the point? What if they did all this and the walls stayed firm? What were they supposed to do then?

But as I thought about their story this morning, the Lord brought a vital fact to my mind. Since the Israelites were walking in a circle, their starting line was also their finish line. That, my friend, changes everything. Yes, it may have felt like they were starting over again, but they weren't. Each day was a new start but also a new finish. Things were accomplished through their efforts though the changes may not have been evident at the time. Their steps weren't wasted. Their obedience was not in vain.

Today, I may face square one again, but it's not the same square one as the last time or the time before. I've grown since then. Things have changed though it may not be visible to me right now. My obedience and efforts have not been in vain. I may be facing square one today, but that only means I reached the finished line yesterday. Today is a new day, and fortunately, God's mercies are new every morning.

Oh, dear one, if you feel like you're stuck at square one, I urge you to heed the Israelites' example. Keep going. Keep walking. Keep following God's directions for your life. It will pay off in the end. You have God's Word on that. In the meantime, remember that if we're starting again, it means we finished something. Maybe not how and when we wanted to finish it, but that stage is completed nonetheless. It's time to move on and learn from what we discovered along the way. Let's trust God knows best and stay faithful to His calling. Then, stand back and watch those walls fall flat!